Today, I’m taking a break from sharing all my writing panel notes, to talk about the fact I’m about to hit ANOTHER convention. At this rate, I’ll never finish sharing my notes with you.
By the time you see this, I’ll be about to land in Dublin with my mom! I’ve never been to Dublin and she’s never been overseas. It’s going to be an adventure!
We’re off to WorldCon. Specifically, the 77th WorldCon, in Dublin. WorldCon is where the Hugos — the biggest awards in science-fiction and fantasy writing are awarded. George RR Martin famously hosts his ‘losers’ party, for those who have been nominated, but lose. (Although, at this point, I don’t think he’s allowed to attend his own party.)
If you’ve been following me for a while, you might remember my FIRST overseas trip, two years ago, was also to WorldCon — in Helsinki! (I’ve got a lot of notes up from that one, too!)
After reading the initial panel list, I marked down about 111 panels that looked interesting. A few days later, the Grenadine App for the event came out, so I uploaded all the panels I’d marked, and everything else that looked interesting, and culled my list of panels down to… 177.
Clearly, I don’t understand the concept of limits. Besides, there are only 52 time slots, I couldn’t see them all if I wanted to.
But. This might be supposed to actually be a vacation. Not just a working convention. I’ve been reminded that I might want to… oh, I don’t know… SEE DUBLIN.
So, I’ve been culling and looking and thinking. And I’m trying to see more and do less.
Some of the panels I have on my list are because of the content, some are on because of the panelists! It’s a work in progress, but I’m down to looking at only 80 program items.
With convention season in full swing, now is a good time to talk about consent violations and how you can help. With the upswing of the #meToo movement, people are feeling more and more comfortable at least calling out behavior that makes them uncomfortable — or worse.
On this panel, Lisa Adler-Golder, Bill Lawhorn, Jennifer Povey, and Stephanie Burke discussed ways to avoid inadvertently (or intentionally) “creeping”, how people and conventions can discourage violations from happening in the first place, ways to help someone escape harassment, how to educate a violator, and what the process is if you need to report an incident.
What Is A Creeper?
There’s a lot of worry out there about intentions being misunderstood and being accused of “creeper” behavior. Plus, there’s the assumption that people who don’t consider themselves conventionally attractive are going to be accused of “creeping” for doing the exact same thing that is welcome from conventionally attractive people.
Let’s start off by leveling the playing field. ANYONE can be creepy. No matter their gender or hotness-rating-level. Those “conventionally attractive people”? Are just more likely to be labeled “sleazes” than “creepers”, but the behaviors are in the exact same category.
Creeping is simply unwelcome and unwanted contact.
While it’s true that some people with poor social skills have issues, often they’ll find that people of the same gender aren’t getting “creeped out”. If you examine their interactions, you’ll find that their behavior around people of the opposite gender is decidedly different. Trying to treat all people the same can go a long way to reduce any perception of creeping.
Many people have been socialized that making a fuss or a scene is worse than putting up with unwanted and uncomfortable attention. And creepers take advantage of that.
Most creepers are pushing boundaries on purpose. They’re probably not some conniving villain, but they are trying to pressure the target into giving them their attention, their time, and maybe more.
Ways To Prevent Harassment
The best way to prevent consent violations is to be aware of boundaries and stop harassing behavior before it starts.
If you have trouble reading cues
Maybe you know you have a problem pushing boundaries, but finding the limits don’t come naturally to you. That’s when you should ask for help.
The panelists recommended:
Group dynamics therapy
Workshops/lectures on communication – especially mirroring
For conventions
Having a Code of Conduct
Badge ribbon activism – cosplay/kilts are not consent
Modeling good behavior
Penalize offenders – if they’re over the line or repeated offenders
kick people out of parties/panels/the convention as required.
Note: Legally, it’s hard to share information between events — although videos on YouTube and opinions from participants in good standing can help.
What Are Creeper Behaviors?
Sidling up
Staring
Overly intimate behavior
NOTE: Often when you meet a new group of people, you’ll see them being more casual about hugs/touch/etc. Remember that their comfort with that level of touch has been built up over their friendship and just because it’s okay for someone they know to do, doesn’t mean it’s fine for everyone.
Skirting the line of acceptable boundaries AND the subject is uncomfortable
Stealthing with cameras
Startling people, then snagging photos
Getting too close on the bed/sofa, during a room party
Talking to/at them, and not giving them an opportunity to leave
At vendor tables – monologuing at the vendor
often (in)advertently blocking sales because people won’t want to interrupt
the audience is captive and obligated to be nice
How You Can Help As A Bystander
First, determine if they need assistance. Evaluate their body language.
Watch for social cues
Often, the person being targeting will be:
Looking away
Crossing their arms and hunching forward
Stepping back
Looking cornered
Discrete Ways To Help
Stand between target and harasser in the conversation huddle
Not too close! They don’t need a NEW source of discomfort
If you’re helping someone at a vendor or signing table, call out, “I think it’s time for the next person
If you see them trapped at a vendor table, start up a conversation with the vendor yourself.
Once the harasser has moved on, move on yourself. Don’t replace them.
Invite the target to go somewhere else with you, even if it’s just across the room
Start up a conversation with the harasser and distract them, giving the target an opportunity to get away.
Model good behavior yourself
“Can I talk to [Target] for a minute?”
By Calling Out The Behavior
Sometimes, the time for subtly has passed. Or the behavior requires a more forceful intervention. In that case, do it loud and proud. Make sure the room or the people nearby know that this person has crossed the line and there is an issue. Once one person steps up, other people often feel comfortable helping — knowing that then help is needed and welcome.
NOTE: ONLY call out their behavior if you feel safe doing so. There is no shame in not feeling safe enough.
“Why are you messing with her/him/them?”
If they’re being touchy-feely? Grab the hand and ask loudly, “what are you doing?”
“Do you need help?” to the target. Or the harasser.
“Excuse me, what do you think you’re doing?”
“Excuse me, could you repeat that?”
While ignoring the harasser, “are you okay?”
What To Do When You Don’t Feel Safe Intervening
Especially if the harasser is larger and drunk, or otherwise not sober, it can be dangerous to intervene yourself. Sometimes, there’s a disparity in level of, or perceived level of authority.
Subtle interventions can be very handy here, but don’t always work.
Take pictures/video of the situation
Call for backup – a friend, staff, security
Call 911 (If you feel safe doing so, tell the harasser that’s what you’re doing)
What To Do If You’re Harassed
This is for harassment, for anything more egregious, do whatever you need to, to be safe.
While they’re harassing you
Here’s the standard escalation process.
Ask them to stop
Ask someone else/an authority to get them to stop.
Get Security, or send someone.
Once you’re away
Should you file a report?
Assuming the incident did not require police intervention, this is 100% up to you and your comfort level. Most con staffs want to do the right thing. Things to consider if you’re not sure the incident warrants a report:
Did they respond well when you asked them to stop?
Did you have to escalate?
Did they immediately find a new target?
Once you’ve decided to file a report
Go to Con Ops to file an incident report (any staffer should be able to direct you)
Who/description
What the behavior was
Your contact info
This way, the convention has a paper trail. They can penalize the offender as necessary. But also? The paper trail makes it harder for people to downplay the incident years later. (i.e. If someone is banned, con staff changes, and the harasser shows up again, asking to come back.)
Are They Educatable?
Especially for convention staff looking to minimize future incidents, you might want to try and educate the harasser. Sometimes, people make mistakes. But, not everyone is going to listen.
When you intervene, do they seem open to critique?
Are they doing active listening, or are they full of excuses/talking over you?
Ask their friends
is this is normal?
have they been warned before?
are there extenuating circumstances?
is this a pattern, a 1-off, or a specific personality clash?
Intervention Success Stories
Our panelists have been involved in the behind-the-scenes at conventions for years.
It’s just part of what Stephanie does. But she’s ashamed of her fellow con-goers when they just keep walking and don’t step up.
Lisa considers it her job, but likes when the harasser apologizes and doesn’t offend again.
At CapClave last year, the Guest of Honor told Bill that this was “Only the second convention I’ve been to, where I wasn’t harassed.” Result? They’re planning on coming to the reunion!
After 4 days and over 24 hours of panels, events, and parties, I’m home from Balticon.
I may have overdone it a touch, even though thisclearlywasn’t my first time. But! I definitely followed my own rules and didn’t miss more than 1 shower, 1 meal, or one-half of a night’s sleep.
Unfortunately, when you’re going all out like this, it can make you more vulnerable to a thing called “con crud”. Usually, an unpleasant cold, but can be quite dangerous for people with compromised immune systems. I know it stinks, especially after having waited all year and paid your fees but if you’re sick, stay home. Or wear a mask and haul around hand sanitizer.
In the coming months, I’ll be sharing my notes from the panels that I can. Some panels make for poor posts, and I don’t blog workshops or lectures as those belong to a certain person or are focused more for participants. But, here’s the high-level overview of the ridiculousity that I got up to over Memorial Day Weekend.
Friday:
I was off to a late start getting to Balticon, including a car fire blocking 2 lanes during errands, before I even managed to head out. I’ve been listening to Guy Gavriel Kay’s A Brightness Long Ago, narrated by Simon Vance — both of whom I was on a voice acting panel with last November. I hadn’t listened to an audiobook in nearly 10 years, but thanks to an extra two hours of traffic, I made significant progress. It definitely kept the traffic from aggravating me.
Once at the hotel, I determined that my roommate’s assessment of “I think I put your name on the room” was mistaken. So, I left my bags with the concierge and went to registration. 10 minutes later, we were well into the 4 o’clock hour, so that helped lower the 65-panels-in-35-time-slots that I’d been eyeing, down to 63 panels in 34 time slots.
I checked out the dealers room, then hit my first panel of 5 for the night. In the midst of those panels, I got my room situation sorted out (“missing” another panel slot).
After a couple panels, I ran into my roommate/dad and he invited me to join him and few friends of his for dinner. By the time we all gathered and seated, there were only 15 minutes before a friend of mine was having a reading. So? I hit the buffet and asked for my check by the time everyone had gotten drinks and were placing their orders.
All-in-all on Friday, I attended “Logistics and Tactics: Writing Campaigns”, “CSI: Fantasy Edition”, an author reading with Doc Coleman, Jamaila Brinkley, and Mike Ventrella, “Writing Motivation for Doomsday Cults”, and a filk tribute to Mars and the Opportunity Rover.
Saturday
My morning started off with “But I’m Not A YA Author: Women in Speculative Fiction”, “How To Be A Good Moderator” (for that eventual day when I’m a longed-for panelist), and “Principles of Roman Hairstyling” Having loved Janet Stephen’s Youtube channel, I was excited to watch her presentation live.
I kept a bit busier on Saturday. My lunch break was carrots, humas, and pita in my room during a reluctant, but necessary break.
Next up were “Practicing Your Pitch”, “Dynamic Voice Acting”, “Improving Your Pitch”, and “Investigating Mysteries: Out-of-the-box thinking that solved strange cases” (by a hoax investigator).
I’d suggested to my dinner compatriots that we ORDER chinese, rather than go out, since so many wanted to be back in time for the Masquerade (or panels, in my case). We ended up letting the organizer know what our orders were at the meet up time, and then they insisted on walking over and ordering the food in person. Um, calling, then walking over could have saved 10 minutes! Ahhh, not everyone is a wiz with logistics, like I am. After a somewhat scattered dinner, I helped carry the cake and snacks up to the room for the DC 2021 party I’d help host later.
I did make it to a reading, featuring Danielle Ackley-McPhail, Keith DeCandido, and Ben Rovik, with a choose-your-own-adventure story, that was directed by audience acclaim. I, and the rest of the audience greatly enjoyed all the readings.
Outside of the convention that evening, there was a bit of concern, where two groups of Baltimore teens apparently crashed? I heard several things, from flash mob that was heavily monitored, to Prom kids hitting other teen clusters and clashing? I do know people were being arrested, and that the hotel closed off the doors on that side of the building, trying to keep us away from the disturbance.
Safely inside, I headed off to my rooms to help host the DC WorldCon 2021 “bid party”.
I showed up to the room party just as it started and slipped into my dragon costume. The party was snacks and drinks and letting people sign up for early memberships, if they were interested. And cake!
As no one is running against DC and it would be local for most attendees of Balticon, we had no detractors that I’m aware of.
Sunday
I woke early, with some thoughts on my roommate’s pitch I’d heard the day before in one of the pitch workshops. (You might have noticed that I’m addicted to rewriting queries…) Scribbling frantically on my notepad, I waved a roommate on into the shower, then realized my 1st intended panel was at 10, not 11! And my shoes were in the bathroom! I pulled my hair back, tossed on a dress, and got there just after the intro for the “Architecture and World building Workshop”. After that let out, I headed back to the room to get more properly bathed and dressed. As a button-eyed-doll.
Podcasting 101 was near my room, and I got drawn in, even though the panel was half-done by then…
My afternoon was, surprise, surprise, full of panels. I hit “Advancing the Story Without Traumatizing Your Characters”, “YouTube Survival Guide”, the artist Guest of Honor’s slide show, discussing his collaboration with the late, great Ursula LeGuin. Then, to make sure I learn to do better “Consent Violation and Bystander Interventions”. After that, with the hope of figuring out the real difference, I attended “Coming-of-Age vs YA”. “Improving Your Readings” was a solid panel (but I thought it was going to be a workshop), and I enjoyed a story hour at the “Myths and Folktales of the Igbo people”.
I may have overdone it. There wasn’t really a lunch break, or even a bio break in there. I darted outside to find quick food. There was a cop car parked on the corner sidewalk with two young officers. I asked where the Subway was. They pointed around the corner, where it lay in plain sight. And one of the officers asked if my costume was from Coraline and smiled when I said “yes”.
The Subway had no line! I did spot another pair of cops patrolling on the backside of the hotel when I returned. Clearly, trying to avoid another evening like Saturday’s.
I scurried back into the hotel and managed to stay for most of the first half of the eBook’s massive launch party event in the Con Suite. (Although, they had food, so maybe I should have scrounged. But, my sub was mostly healthy, so we’ll dub it a decent call.) I got to hear a reading, and joined a few people at their table so I could sit. Excellent conversations! But, of course, I ducked out before the raffle, because there were MORE panels!
Next up was “Sex, Sexuality, and Worldbuilding”. Excellent moderation kept it useful for writing instead of falling down the very easily found rabbit holes. And then, “This Kaiju Life LIVE!” a hilarious podcast about government bureaucracy, with a Dilbert-esque main character and tons of crazy shenanigans.
Then? It was time for the DC 2021 party REDUX, because we had food and drink leftovers to spare. I was in and out a bit. But, got complimented on my vlog by one of the guests, which made my night. Clean-up was smooth.
Monday
Holy bleep, Morgan! There’s MORE?
Not that much.
I woke up in time for “The Future of Podcasting” (when my sniffles started to show up), packed and wandered. Then hit “Mythology, Philosophy, and Video Games” — which was a discussion, not a panel. Because I hadn’t been on the room reservation, I hadn’t gotten my parking validated, so I took care of that and dropped off my bags. I’d intended to hit some more panels, but by then, I was starting to fade. So, I reluctantly skipped “The Good Place as Dystopian Fiction” and headed out.
I was blessed with a smooth drive home — 2 hours shorter than the drive up — I finished my audio book 5 minutes after getting home. After messaging my thanks on the Baltimore Science Fiction Society‘s facebook page, my sinus pressure turned into a headache and the cold hit in full force. I’d gotten home just in time. And it was time to nap.
All-in-all? Another excellent convention. Far too many great panels — especially at the same times and/or at meal-times!
Looking forward to overdoing it again, next year.
Have you ever attended a convention? How did YOU fill your time?
Thanks for tuning in, and I’ll be starting on sharing these panel notes next week.
As I contemplate approximately 82 panels that sounded great for me to attend in under 4 days, I realized it’s time for me to share my complete guide for attending conventions.
Should You Attend A Convention?
Before deciding to attend any convention, ask yourself the following questions:
What is the focus of this convention?
There are as many different types of conventions as there are conventions themselves. Some are more professional oriented, some are pitch events, some are workshop focused, some are all about the party. Note: for the geek-oriented conventions I’m mostly referencing, they’re often known as “Cons”.
What are the expenses involved?
The cost of admission
The distance
Gas/Parking money or plane/taxi costs
Workshop fees (sometimes these are extra)
Hotel room (can you room with friends? Is there a crash board for the con offering space in someone else’s room?
Food
Spending money
Can you staff (involved ahead of time, likely for the full convention) or volunteer (sign up, drop in, obligated for a set number of hours) in order to cut costs?
How accessible is it?
If the convention space has been around, you can typically find out from people who have been there before. If not, you can contact the hotel/convention center/etc. Check to see what the convention says about accessibility. If they make it a priority, it should show.
How large is the convention?
Is it a local college con with a couple hundred guests, or the tens of thousands that flood Atlanta for DragonCon? How well do you do with crowds? Size can influence the last two questions.
Who are the guests of honor?
Sometimes, it’s worth splurging for a writer you’ve always loved, an actor you admire, the launch of some new webcomic/movie/whatever.
What sort of program events do they have?
Ceremonies – opening, closing, awards, etc
Panel topics
Concerts
Screenings
Readings
Parties
Signing
Photo Ops
Video Games
Contests
Cosplay
Are your friends attending?
It’s always good to see a familiar — and friendly face in the crowd.
What To Bring To A Convention
Clothes
If this is a geek event, everyone in day clothes will be wearing jeans and a black t-shirt. Do you want to stand out? Or blend in?
If this is more business oriented, try for a business casual dress. Maybe a geeky t-shirt, with a dress skirt/slacks and blazer?
Good walking shoes. Typically, you’re going to do a lot of walking on concrete floors. Even if you’re not, you’re likely to be on your feet a lot more than *I* am on an average day.
Costumes
Do you cosplay? Check before you dress up, some conventions (like World Fantasy Con) aren’t into it. Others encourage it (DragonCon)
Some allow more explicit costumes than others, be sure you know the rules.
There are conventions with strict photography rules — for hallway pictures, creepy stalkers, and professional photo shoots. Check before you make plans.
Food and Drinks
If you can, bring breakfasts, snacks, and drinks of your choice. Hotels can be very drying, so you’ll need to hydrate more than normal. Especially if you bring in any alcohol.
Business Cards, Queries, Pitches, and Chapters
If you’re going? Network.
Hand out your business card to anyone who seems friendly.
If there are pitch sessions, agents, or imprint editors? Have printed copies of your pitch and your queries printed out. And just in case? Have a copy of your first chapter.
Electronics
Some like having laptops, or live tweeting events. Have your electronics, a bag for them, and all your chargers. Bring a spare battery if you can.
Notepad and Pens
I don’t like to take notes on my computer during panels. Instead, I’m scribbling like mad in a new notebook I got just for this con.
YES. This is an excuse for a new notebook, or to use that one you’ve been hoarding.
Bring a couple of your favorite pens to write with. Even if you’re doing the laptop thing or phone-ing it in. 😉 You might end up with a hallway autograph session, or need to scribble down someone’s room number.
What To Do At A Con
I touched on this briefly, when you were deciding if you should attend, but not everything is in the program book.
Panels
A panel is typically a discussion between 3-6 guests, with a given theme. Usually, there is a moderator to make sure the conversation flows.
Typically, these are 50 minutes long, with about 5 minutes given to introductions, 30-35 minutes for discussion amongst the guests, and 10-15 minutes for audience questions. Different conventions have different standards, though.
When picking which panels to attend, there are several factors to consider. I wasn’t kidding earlier when I said I was contemplating 82 panels over 4 days. Luckily, I’ve cut it back to about 65 panels/events at this point.
And? They’re spread among the same 35 hours, so literally, I can’t do nearly half of them. I’m going to have to pick.
When I’m torn between panels, these are my decision factors:
What’s the panel topic? Is it relevant to my writing? Does it sound interesting? Have I seen it before? Is it a hilarious show? Maybe it’s a relaxing concert?
Who’s on the panel? Have I heard them before? (Even if this is your first time, as you go on with the weekend, you’ll often find you have specific panelists you enjoy more than others.) Maybe a panel is one I’ve seen before, but has a whole new cast of characters! Maybe they’re a friend I want to support and love hearing.
Do I need a break? Is this my 5th panel in a row? Do I need a nap or food?
Will I need to queue up? At WorldCon two years ago, the panels proved far more popular than anticipated, so to get into any panel, you had to queue up an hour before. So, I did.
Events
There are tons of types of events, outside of panels.
Signings – from actors, artists, writers and more
Dances – everything from folk dance, to raves, to full on fancy dress balls
Workshops – these vary in length from a 50 minute panel, to a full day, to the full extended weekend of workshop. The longer it is, or more prestigious the instructor, the more likely it costs extra, and needs to be signed up for ahead of time.
Coffee klatches – a word from the 60s or so, when people hung out drinking coffee in kitchens. These are small gatherings with a guest of honor, to have an organic conversation. I think. They intimidate me, so I’ve never been.
Parades – certain groups or free for alls! Sometimes costumes are required
Ceremonies – most have opening and closing ceremonies. Some have awards ceremonies as well. World Con hosts the Hugo awards.
Concerts – Everything from acapella groups to ballroom-sized metal concerts
Pitch events! – Some have opportunities to pitch (or practice your pitch) with an actual agent or publisher.
Pitching live can be a “I’ll sign you now!” sort of thing. But more often, it’s a thanks or no thanks situation.
With the occasional: “that sounds nice, please query me” (and note that the agent requested in the query’s intro). And that submission? Might be super promising! Or, that agent may just have trouble saying no to your face.
Gaming rooms – Board games, video games, LARPing rooms, you can find a lot of stuff going on. And? This can be a great way to get to know new people, without having to resort to the ‘small talk’ many people (wrongfully) disdain.
Martial Arts – Demos or classes are often found at conventions. Longsword or jiu jitsu and everything in between.
Crafting – Demos or classes are often found at conventions. From fiber arts, to drawing, painting, and glueing together fake steampunk guns.
Art Show – Artists of all kinds can submit to have their art displayed. Often many paintings and prints, plus fabric arts, jewelry, woodcraft, pottery, and more. Here, it goes up for a silent auction, with a small piece of paper by it for people to write their bids. Usually, identifying themselves by badge number.
Like Ebay, there’s often a ‘buy now’ option at a higher price. Often, the artists will have tables with less expensive prints in the Artists’ Alley or Dealers’ room.
The Art Show usually wraps up on Sunday, or the last day of the con. Sometimes, there’s a live auction (I’ve been known to Vanna White one or two auctions in my day). The rest of the time, if you’re the winning bid, you have until a set time to pay and collect your piece.
Shopping
Some have large vendor rooms, some have segregated “Dealers’ Rooms” (for people selling store merchandise) and “Artists’ Alley” (for people selling homemade goods). Here, you can buy any sort of art, con-themed clothing and costumery, swag, books, and more.
Sometimes there are ‘room dealers’ who set their own hours working out of hotel rooms.
Con Suite
A life-saver for the budget con-attendee, this is a room to relax, socialize, and SNACK. Sometimes they have oatmeal, cereal bars, bread, and pb&j. These rooms may have more, they may have less, but they’ll have some low level of sustenance for those that need it. (If you have allergies, they may be less helpful.)
Party Rooms
In traditional/older school science-fiction and fantasy conventions, in North America, there is the tradition of a ‘party board’, where room parties are listed. Many are registered ahead of time, and end up assigned a room on the same hall, to keep the noise clustered.
These are typically door-propped, mild to moderate decorations, some swag, some snacks, and a couple of hosts. If the event/location permits, there may be alcohol. People often ‘party hop’, sticking their heads in each of the party rooms and snagging refreshments before heading to the next one.
Most of these parties are hosted by other conventions, to try and drum up interest and early memberships to help finance their own convention. Some of them are ‘bid parties’. Both WorldCon and WorldFantasyCon travel from year to year, like the Olympics. And like the Olympics, cities bid to host, votes are cast, and there’s a winner.
I’ve helped with the DC 2021 WorldCon bid party twice. Luckily, no one is currently running against DC. (Also, both parties I helped with were in Baltimore, so the locals are fans, anyway.)
There are often invite-only parties. Or so I’ve heard. These typically do have alcohol (and some even check IDs to avoid any legal issues). Some people even hire bouncers.
Socialize
There are people around you, interested in the stuff you’re there to see. Talk to them. Admire something to them. Play games with them.
The key to networking is — make friends.
NOTE: If you see an agent at a convention — if they’re in the program, you can approach them — as long as they’re not in a rush somewhere, or look to be in a serious conversation. Just give your one line pitch after an introduction (or more conversation). Do not hand them query letters, or manuscripts, or more.
If they’re not in the program? They’re probably there for meetings, or off the clock and you should leave them alone.
If this is your first — or even second time at a particular convention, you may feel a bit left out. It seems like everyone else knows each other, everyone else is having an amazing time, and you’re locked out. But these are fans, and they love talking about their fandoms. It can take 3 or more times at a given con before it starts feeling like home. These are relationships that have been built in short weekends, spread over years. You have to put in the time to get there, but if you’re open to meeting new people, there will be people open to meeting you.
There’s also a thing informally known as ‘Bar Con’, where the writers and agents hang out at the bar. This is a time to socialize with them and/or buy them drinks. NOT a time to do more than a single line pitch, IF they ask.
Take Care Of Yourself
To be respectful of others, you need to respect yourself and not push your limits. Don’t skip more than 1 shower. Don’t skip more than 1 meal. Don’t skip more than 1/2 of a night’s sleep. You’ll feel better about yourself, look more approachable to others, and you’ll have more patience and energy.
Hotels and convention centers are among the most dehydrating places on earth. I’ve been known to bring humidifiers when attending winter conventions to stave off colds. You’ll need to drink at least 8 ounces of water more than you normally would, just to stave that off. (More, if you plan to drink alcohol.)
If you’ve forgotten or lost your toiletries, you can ask the hotel staff or acquire some at the hotel’s store. If that fails, ask the con suite staff. They should be able to discreetly track you down some deodorant or toothpaste.
HOW TO BEHAVE
When you arrive at the convention
Typically, if you’re staying at the hotel, you’ll want to check in first. Many don’t allow check-in before 4pm (to give them time to clean all the rooms after the 11am-1pm check-out time). If you’re early, you often can leave your bags with the concierge (although a tip will be expected)
Next, you’ll want to find the convention’s own registration. This might be an hours-long line, or a 2 minute stop. You’ll need to have your ID on you, and if you haven’t pre-paid, money. They’ll give you a badge and sometimes a program guide and a map.
If you aren’t pressed for time, I encourage you to scope out where the panels you plan to attend are, where the event rooms are, and where the restroom is.
At a panel
Try to arrive 5 minutes early. Be settled before the panelists begin.
Make sure your phone/alarms are turned off (or at least on silent)
Don’t take up more than one seat if there’s a decent-sized audience.
Feel free to take notes! Paper or laptop.
If you get a chance to ask a question, don’t be “That Guy”
Have a concise question
Remember that the audience is here to listen to the panelists, not you
Don’t use this as a chance to make an analogy to your own novel or gaming world
Don’t use this as an opportunity to show how clever you are and/or how you should have been on the panel
I know you wouldn’t do that, but there always seems to be one person who thinks they’re not just making everyone roll their eyes, (including the panelists they might be trying to impress).
If the panel didn’t address what you thought it would, this is a great time to ask their opinion on what you were hoping to hear them talk about in the first place. Or maybe you wanted them to go more in depth on something they touched on. These are all good questions!
If you must leave early (or it’s not what you expected, or you’re bored), look at your watch/phone with a startled expression, gather your things quietly, mouth “Sorry” in slow motion to the panelists at the front of the room, then slip out with as little ruckus as possible. I promise you, most people would rather watch the panelists than you.
In General
Be open to new experiences.
Chat with people, if it doesn’t happen organically? Hit the gaming room. Volunteer to help the con.
Attend something con related, don’t just hang with your friends or hide in your room
If you spot someone in costume, or someone famous in the halls, and you want to approach, evaluate the situation.
Do they look rushed or exhausted or closed off? They may need some downtime, or be late. Leave them alone.
Are they in a deep conversation with someone else? Leave them alone.
If they look relaxed, be respectful and courteous. Start with an introduction and maybe a compliment. Don’t be fake or fawning. “Hi, I thought your work in X was so very well something.” or “Hi, amazing work on the costume-part.”
Do NOT compliment a body part. Compliment something they can change in less than a week. Hair, costume, accessories, etc.
If they don’t seem irritated and you’d like a photograph or autograph, ask. “Do you mind autographing this/if I get a picture?“
Just because they’re already getting their photograph taken, doesn’t mean you can whip out your camera.
They might know the other person/people – and asked them to take their picture so they have a record later.
They might be trying to get somewhere else – like a panel, or the bathroom!
After The Con
Some people hit their limit and are ready to leave. Many of us linger and want to catch last minute hugs and waves.
When you get home, odds are you’re going to want a nap. Probably some water, and maybe even some vegetables. Who knows?
Watch out for an energy drop, that’s not just the need for a nap, commonly known as “con drop”.
You’ve just been in ‘on’ mode for 2+ days. For many, this is a unique opportunity to be surrounded by other fans, where your interests are common, not unique. There’s a particular energy for each convention. When you leave that, you can feel isolated. Or irritable. Or just plain exhausted.
Cons are rather manic and leaving them can leave you depressed.
The trick to handling con drop is to know what you need.
For me? It’s often water, naps, and downtime. Then writing up my con-report and posting online, trying to connect with everyone else who was there.
For others? They may need to cave for three days. Or? They might want to schedule dinner plans the next few nights so they don’t go from 100% socialization to nothing.
Taking care of yourself doesn’t end just because you’re home. But with any luck? You’ll enjoy yourself and be ready for the con to return.
Let me know if I missed anything! And check back next week for more writing tips and writerly musings.
