#29 Query Corner – RENDER

RENDER is a contemporary fantasy where secret telepaths can hack other people’s brains and manipulate their realities.

When medical resident, Dr. Kivrin Welch’s ex-boyfriend shows up, wanted for assassinating the senator he was paid to protect. That’s when she learns about renderers — telepathic mind hackers. Her ex admits he’s one, but someone’s learned how to turn rending into physical actions. How can they clear his name when his body did the killing?

#28 Query Corner: THE EYE BEGINS TO SEE

Welcome to:

Morgan’s Query Corner:

Fresh Eyes For Your Query Quandaries

PREDESTINED is a contemporary fantasy set in a magic school.

When Evie’s crush, Justin, offers to use his dark magic to help unlock her magic, she’s horrified. Now, the race is on for her to master her magic before the darkness consumes Justin.

Overall Impression:

PREDESTINED sounds like a solid magic school fantasy.

A couple of things to think about:

The ‘clumsy’ girl is a bit of an overdone trope at this point. I’d skip using it in the query.
Give details – keeping things vague show how you’re like your genre, details show how you’re different.
Focus on the stakes more than world building.

#27 Query Corner: PREDESTINED

Welcome to:

Morgan’s Query Corner:

Fresh Eyes For Your Query Quandaries

PREDESTINED is a contemporary fantasy set in a magic school.

When Evie’s crush, Justin, offers to use his dark magic to help unlock her magic, she’s horrified. Now, the race is on for her to master her magic before the darkness consumes Justin.

Overall Impression:

PREDESTINED sounds like a solid magic school fantasy.

A couple of things to think about:

The ‘clumsy’ girl is a bit of an overdone trope at this point. I’d skip using it in the query.
Give details – keeping things vague show how you’re like your genre, details show how you’re different.
Focus on the stakes more than world building.

#26 Query Corner: ‘WHEN DREAMS COLLIDE’

Welcome to:

Morgan’s Query Corner:

Fresh Eyes For Your Query Quandaries

WHEN DREAMS COLLIDE is an adult contemporary romance with hints of magical realism.

Awakened from a coma, Josh Michaels learns his beloved wife was a dream. Meanwhile, Maggie Forsett dreams of a better life–and her dream lover. When they’re drawn together in real life, can reality ever match a dream?

Overall Impression:

WHEN DREAMS COLLIDE sounds like a sweet romance with some of the genre’s favorite tropes — comas, dreams, meant-to-be.

Some agents like a tagline first, so I’m going to leave that in here. Good job showing both character’s points-of-view and showing what they want.

A couple of things to think about:

Give details – keeping things vague show how you’re like all the other romances, details show how you’re different
Try to tell each character’s paragraph in their voice, but keep it in the 3rd person present tense

#25 Query Corner: NOGITSUNE TO GAIJIN (“The Field Fox and the Foreigner”)

PEACEKEEPER is a YA dystopian SF novel.

After Eli’s adoptive father becomes the commander of the Domain’s forces, his father’s reign of terror grows bloodier than it ever was at home. Eli must join forces with the rebellion and help them kill the commander or let the whole realm suffer under his father’s thumb.

Overall Impression:

This querist sent me their old version and their new version, with worries that they were getting worse, not better. So, with a quick overview, I was happy I was able to soothe those fears.

Overall Impression:

PEACEKEEPER sounds like a pretty solid story.

(I’m going to flip the order around due to personal preference, but some agents prefer it in your order — just remember to check before submitting.)

A couple of things to think about:

Dystopian is on a bit of a downswing, so depending on the tech level, it may be better to dub this either a Fantasy or a Science-Fiction novel.
Even if you don’t have any writer stats, you don’t have to say it’s your debut novel. If you don’t put in writer credentials, it’s assumed. Most agents want at least a tiny bio. I keep mine to 2 sentences.

#24 Query Corner: ‘PEACEKEEPER’

PEACEKEEPER is a YA dystopian SF novel.

Overall Impression:

This querist sent me their old version and their new version, with worries that they were getting worse, not better. So, with a quick overview, I was happy I was able to soothe those fears.

Overall Impression:

PEACEKEEPER sounds like a pretty solid story.

(I’m going to flip the order around due to personal preference, but some agents prefer it in your order — just remember to check before submitting.)

A couple of things to think about:

Dystopian is on a bit of a downswing, so depending on the tech level, it may be better to dub this either a Fantasy or a Science-Fiction novel.
Even if you don’t have any writer stats, you don’t have to say it’s your debut novel. If you don’t put in writer credentials, it’s assumed. Most agents want at least a tiny bio. I keep mine to 2 sentences.

#23 Query Corner: ‘NAVIGATING NESSA’

NAVIGATING NESSA is a YA contemporary.

After her father’s death, Nessa struggled to gain control over her anxiety. When she falls for the new boy, her control slips and she sinks into the hardcore party scene. Now, Nessa must find the strength to reach out for help, before she destroys her future and the respect of those that matter most to her.

Overall Impression:

This querist sent me their old version and their new version, with worries that they were getting worse, not better. So, with a quick overview, I was happy I was able to soothe those fears.

The querist was told to add specificity and, as is natural, started to make the query a little too synopsis-like.

We all do it. *Morgan shoves her own query letter drafts version 4-7 behind her*

Things to think about

Specificity doesn’t need all the backstory.
Specificity doesn’t need to be long, keep it under 250 if possible, under 300 words always.

#22 Query Corner: ‘MIRADEN’S FOLLY’

THE WINGS OF OBORIO is a fantasy.

After his father destroys a witch’s forest, Prince Braun and his new bride, Princess Martiel must learn to trust each other if they want to end the witch’s curse to save their future children and their kingdoms, and forge a lasting partnership.

Overall Impression:

It sounds like a good story and a solid fairy tale. One of my favorite genres!

Things to think about

Make sure female main/secondary characters have agency. If she’s a POV character, we’re gonna have to switch one of the paragraphs to focus on her side of the story.
What does the Prince WANT? (What stands in his way– I think you’ve got that half)
Specificity should replace standard lines. You need to show how your novel is DIFFERENT, not how it follows the formula.
Remember to sell one book at a time. You can say it has ‘series potential’, but make sure it can stand on its own.

#21 Query Corner: ‘THE WINGS OF OBORIO’

THE WINGS OF OBORIO is a fantasy.

Overall Impression:

It sounds like a good story and a solid fairy tale. One of my favorite genres!

Things to think about

Make sure female main/secondary characters have agency. If she’s a POV character, we’re gonna have to switch one of the paragraphs to focus on her side of the story.
What does the Prince WANT? (What stands in his way– I think you’ve got that half)
Specificity should replace standard lines. You need to show how your novel is DIFFERENT, not how it follows the formula.
Remember to sell one book at a time. You can say it has ‘series potential’, but make sure it can stand on its own.