Screwing Up Doesn’t Make You A Screw-up

Remember those shiny resolution and NaNoWriMo bragging I was doing last week? I’m not sure if I mentioned, but I wasn’t really feeling motivated and was hoping that fake-it-til-you-make-it would help. I tried to use momentum to give me motivation to keep up with my goals.

It didn’t go as well as I’d hoped.

I’ve missed my goals:

• Aiming for 5,000 steps a day?
  • Missed by 139 steps one day, already
    • That’s like what? An 8.33% FAILURE rate.
• Trying to read all the writing/writers blogs I’m now following?
  • Completely fallen behind
• Trying to finish 10,000 words in 3 weeks?
  • I should be at 5,238 words before I start today, where am I?
    • 2,649 words this year, total
  • To catch up, I sat down, planning on a minimum of 500 words on Tuesday
    • At 12:03am, I counted
    • I’d ended at 499 words for the day.

11 Days into 2017 and I’m slipping hard.

 

How Do You Handle Failing Your Resolutions?

 

Step 1: Make Excuses

• I’ve been suffering with a cold since at least New Years Eve. Someday this year, hopefully soon, I’ll wake up healthy. Today is not that day.
• I’m now following too many blogs- that all update on Mondays, when I don’t keep up with them on the weekends, so I get behind.
• I’ve upped my social obligations–so I now need to get my blog post done either earlier in the week or after a gaming session with friends–when I should be sleeping.
• When I try to up my fitness, my writing typically suffers, I usually can only maintain one or the other.

But what are my options? Neglecting my body? Giving up on my writing?

Whenever I make too many resolutions – writing, social, and gym-wise, I can’t juggle that many balls at once.

 

Step 2: Negotiate with Yourself

With this many goals, something is going to slip, sometime. I need to find out a good balance.

• Try getting out of work before 8pm.
  • Preferably by 6pm.
  • Hit the gym and get home by 7:30pm.
• Write at least 250 words every time I sit down to write.
  • Try for 2 long writing sessions a week – minimum 1,000 words for those sessions.

 

Step 3: Accept Slip-ups

•  Incorporate Cheat Days
  • Permitting 5 missed fitness days a month – number may update based on how I do.
  • Allow catch-up days for writing
    • Or allow myself to accept sick-notes. I was in bed for at least 2 days of January and now, on Thursday the 12th is the first time I’m even starting to feel like I’m really getting over this cold-of-doom. Slow going when sick is to be expected.

Why cheat days?

In the long term, these are self-goals. No one is going to punish me if I don’t meet them, the only person I really let down is myself.

But.

These are the steps I’m taking to reach the goals I want. To because who I want to be. By settings a certain number of cheat days allowed, I can bargain with myself. If I’m feeling lazy one day, I can skip — but I know that I only have so many and maybe I should save that cheat for a day where I’m sick and tired and over-worked?

Because I know I’m the type of person who likes being kind to future-Morgan, that’s the sort of inspiration I need to make myself power-through on mediocre days, so I can save my resting for the bad days.

Step 4: Start Over

Did you know that every day is another chance to try again?

So what if I missed my word count yesterday? Here are my 5 excuses, but in the end, it doesn’t matter. What matters is what I do today.

But the only way to look at each new day as a new chance is step 5:

Step 5: Be Kind To Yourself

As I like to quote, Be The Kindness You Want To See In The World.

Do you know the best place to start? With yourself.

Don’t forget to give yourself credit, where credit is due.

For example:

• You actually went to the gym and walked WHILE sick
  • You haven’t been there in like 6 months
  • You went the first week of January when it’s full of scary NY resolution-ers!
• You sat down to write for the first time since NOVEMBER
  • You made progress in the story
  • You made a break-through plot-wise for what goes next
    • (Thanks to suggestions from the FB YA Support Group!)
• You read a decent portion of those bloggers you’re now following and commented on more than one
• You’ve been keeping up with your blog-posts
• You finished those holiday treats, so they won’t be taunting you any longer (hmmm, except.. maybe you have a few of those what-cha-candies left…)
• You scheduled with the editor you’ve been playing tag with since October
• You finally read that full manuscript a Critique Partner sent you a month ago–in one night
• You now get to see a friend more regularly – who is going to feed you dinner so you eat a real meal (and you know she’s eating a real meal)

 

Once you give up ripping yourself up and tearing yourself down, you start to find yourself in a better place to build yourself up.

You’re in a better place to build up those you love and care for.