Dealing With The Emotional Roller-Coaster of Being A Writer

Being a writer, especially one with internet access, can be a complete roller-coaster of emotions.

Of course, we knew before we begin dreaming of writing that book reviews could be the height of joy or the depths of crushing blows. But, it used to be that you’d only see the professional reviews and could ignore them if you wanted.

Nowadays, it would be better (and less distracting) if writers only knew what people thought of their writing when they had the energy and focus to go look, and prepare to improve their craft.

NOT distracting them from what they’re in the middle of.

NOT when they’ve had a rough day of writing and feel like maybe they should throw the towel in.

NOT when life is dragging them down, and the internet’s nasty review is ready to kick them when they’re already down.

But, when you’re a writer, there’s so many other things that can bring you up and crash you down.

In the past week? I’ve been all over the place. Often on the same day.

My most recent roller-coaster of emotions

UPS:

Last week? I entered an overnight flash fiction contest — and WON! Well, I won a free book and bragging rights, but it’s still something.

DOWNS:

Then I got home to find heavy feedback from my mentor.

When I reread the passage? I couldn’t believe I’d sent that to her. I’d remembered the passage having been edited and being dark — yes. But, a rather different flavor of dark.

I dragged my feet getting back to those edits.

BOTH:

The next day, a dear writer friend, with a story pitch that harkens to one of my favorite moves, announced that she’d been offered representation by an agent.

She’s worked hard, reworked her novel, and dealt with some setbacks. I was so proud and excited for her.

But?

I was also jealous and frustrated to be stuck in revisions. Again.

Writing Requires Resilience, Persistence, and
Perseverance

Resilience

the capacity to recover from set-backs. Like facing that scene and editing it into something I can be proud of and eager to show my mentor.

Like recognizing my jealousy and longing to be at the same stage as my friend whose most recent query netted her an agent. And accepting the fact that I want to make my novel better before I enter the query trenches again.

Persistence

firm continuance in a course of action in spite of difficulty. I keep writing and putting my work out there.

For that flash-fiction contest? It’s usually posted on Fridays, and open for submissions on Saturdays, for 24 hours. So many times, I’ve created an entry, and then forgotten to post it. But, I still keep my eye on it, and still draft up entries on Fridays.

For my writing? After reading my writing and recoiling in horror, I let that settle in me for a bit. After a day or so, I cracked open that manuscript to see what I could do. And revised it, until I was something I was happy to share with my mentor.

But you know what? I think I can do better. I’m going to edit that chapter again.

And for querying friend? I’m so proud of her and I can’t wait to be in her shoes again. I know I’ll be ready to put myself back out there, when my time comes.

Perseverance

persistence in doing something despite difficulty or delay in achieving success.

My win? It took a bit to get there.

I tried to post from my phone, but it wouldn’t let me. I tried again hours later, and still nothing. I borrowed a friend’s ipad, logged into an incognito window, and finally managed to get my 100 word entry entered.

Several finalists were announced, and the judge asked for input. No one voted for mine. A couple people wanted me to explain in.

Despite the lack of votes and assurance, I found comfort in making it to the finals, and despite all odds? I WON!

As for my writing. I’m going to keep at it. Querying when I can, polishing the rest until it’s something no one can resist — and they start begging for more.

And for my writing friends? I’m going to be there to celebrate their wins, share their writing with the world, and lend an ear whenever stress or setbacks send them reeling.


What sort of emotional roller-coasters have you been on lately?

Do you ever worry you won’t be able to handle it, when your writing gets popular? 😉

Finding My Way Out Of The Eternal Revision Roundabout

Did you ever get the feeling that you were NEVER going to finish your revisions?

I’m definitely feeling that way these days, as you might be able to tell from my runner-up titles for this post, including:

  • Another Bloody Round Of Revisions?
  • Fighting Past A Bad Case Of The I-Don’t-Wannas
  • Holy BLEEP, When Will My Revisions End?

My novel has been written and polished for years. I queried it. I got rejected. Lots of form rejections and a couple requests that turned into nothing. So, I’ve revised and queried, and revised again.

You know I’ve talked about the editing spiral before. I’ve been here and wrestled with this time and time again.

Every time I finish a draft, I think I’m done. (Well, every draft since the third draft. You don’t want to be too hasty.)

This is my eighth round of revisions, and seeing as how I applied for a mentor in January, it’s only fitting that I should be revising again with her help.

I’ve been working with Leona Wisoker since February. And with her help, I’m adding a lot of sensory details and working on tightening my plot. My main character can get stuck in her own head pretty easily, and — for the sake of both the characters and the readers — it’s best to have her look up once in awhile.

I feel pretty confident in my characters, my world building, and my story. I just need help to take my second-world fantasy from a light read to something that will linger in the minds of the reader.

And Leona’s help is wonderful. I’m THRILLED to be working with her. (If you’re interested, she’s currently open to clients at editor@leonawisoker.com)

BUT.

It means I’m doing another round of revisions when all I want to do is query and pitch and dream of The Call.

I wanted my story to be ready so badly. I’ve been working on this story since 2013, with a full draft in hand for nearly five YEARS.

You always hear about how most writers first novels are practice books that deserve to be in a drawer. I’m scared that the reason I’m still working this novel is because I won’t give up, when there’s no chance for this story to succeed.

The market is too crowded. Everyone has a book these days.

Yet, then I think back to those who have read it. My beta readers enjoyed it, my critique partners cheered for the story. The worst anyone’s ever said is “it’s clear this is an early draft” when I thought I was done. Back around draft five. (You thought I’d forgotten that, didn’t you. You know who you are.)

Everytime I want to throw in the towel on this round of revisions, I read my latest chapter and find myself filled with something warm and exuberant. Something that feels a lot like pride.

If I didn’t feel that sense of improvement, of rightness, after a round of revisions on a chapter, I would stop. But this is why I write.

As long as I feel at the end of the day that what I have after the effort is better than what I had before, I’m going to keep revising. Where I can take a chapter from merely telling a story to bringing the reader along for the ride.

That’s what I want.

And I’m getting closer, every day.

My Technique For Dealing With Multiple Muses

If you’re a writer, you’ve usually had more than one idea. Different characters, premises, worlds, or what-have-you all fighting for your attention. Typically, the ideas pour in when you’re deep in the middle of writing another story, and dry up when you finish it.

It can be hard to figure out where you should focus.

For me? These tips are how I handle competing novel novel ideas. (all puns are good puns.)

1. Focus on writing one story at a time

There are tons of people who fight with multiple muses, and lose. They end up leaving the scattered remains of half-finished stories and novels behind them, in their pursuit of working only on the freshest and most compelling idea.

If this works for you, have at.

For most of us, though, I highly suggest picking one–the one with the clearest story concept.

Now, if you’ve lost the story thread or have given it your honest best-effort and feel like it’s not coming together, I’m not saying you can’t switch stories. You’re not committed to finish every story you start.

But. moving on, simply because your writing starts taking effort is, for most of us, going to mean that you never finish a story. The choice is up to you.

Personally, I like to switch it up after a draft, and explore a different story and world. Then again, we all know, I’m still hopelessly devoted to my first completed manuscript.

2. Write Down Your Story Ideas

I know, it’s a stereotypical writer image — scrambling for a napkin or bedside journal to write down some stray random thought or dream… BUT DO IT!

Dreams and stray thoughts are where most story ideas come from. That, and playing a game of ‘what if’, followed by rationalized consequences.

For me, I have a draft email, that I can access on my computer or phone at anytime (because I’m a bit attached to my phone. One might say I’m addicted) and I write down my thought or concept.

I find often, so long as I record the concept and imagery, such that I feel confident that looking back on these notes will remind me of the idea, that I can return to my current work in progress, knowing this idea is waiting for me.

And usually? My ideas are small snippets that need more exploration and growth before they can become a full-fledged story. That’s why I read them over every so often and see if I can add details to them.

Where do I read them over? That brings me to my next tip.

3 – Organize Your Idea Notes

The biggest problem with tip #2 is finding all those little ideas when you’re ready to start your next story. If they’re all on different scraps of paper, random pages in twenty journals, scattered throughout the places you go in your daily life, it’ll be hard to look them over and decide your next move.

So, consolidation is KEY.

For me? I have all of my story ideas in one email draft, so I can see them in one place. Plus, by being electronic, I can re-order the collected ideas, so that similarly-themed ones are grouped together. I don’t know about you, but oftentimes, I have ideas that overlap with ones I’ve had in the past. Probably because certain themes and concepts just appeal to me strongly and I like exploring them.

4 – Re-read and Build On Your Notes

I’ve already alluded to this, and I know it feels a lot like tip 3? But, when you organize your ideas, often times they grow and change.

When you revisit your idea notes, this is when you can see if any of them have been percolating in the back of your head, sprouting from a story seed. (Any more metaphors I can toss in there?)

Sometimes? I delete ideas. Either I’ve already used it, lost the thread, or realize the reason I haven’t done something with this idea is that the concept seemed novel, but doesn’t really work for me.

I’ve been known to write a page or so as a story sampler, trying to find a voice and setting for the concept. Just be sure to keep it someone searchable and label it!


Managing muses can be hard. It can be a struggle to focus on one, when there are so many ideas fighting for your attention. This is writing, not math, there is no definitive right answer. Only you can decide which story to focus on today.


How do you manage your story ideas?

Any tips of the trade that I missed? I love hearing from y’all.

Don’t Give Away Your Writing Time

Sunday, in many parts of the United States was the start of Daylight Saving Time. A ridiculous practice in which we pretend it’s daylight longer by rolling our clocks forward.

I am exhausted and underwhelmed to have lost an hour of sleep.

I know that for people with children or pets or sleeping disorders, it can be harder. They’re not able to understand why we’re getting up earlier.

I console myself with the knowledge that I’ll get that hour back, come late fall.

But, all too often, we give away our writing time, without a government mandated clock adjustment.

This is going to be a ‘do what I say, and not as I do’ sort of post, that’s inspirational for me. I hope you find it a little inspiring, though.

When it comes down to it, all writers can categorize their time spent not writing into two types:

1. Intentional Time Spent Not Writing

We all have obligations and lives outside of our writing. Mouths to feed, chores to do, loved ones to support and cherise. Not to mention, many of us have day jobs — be they paid or unpaid. And all of those things deserve (or should deserve) our undivided attention.

And if you’re me? You probably want to fit some sleep in there. And contemplate exercising.

Plus, we all need downtime. Being 100%, all the time, is exhausting. Scheduling 100% of your time is going to lead you to be checked out, whenever you can get away with it. Schedule in the things that motivate you or refresh you. TV binge watching, marathon training, book reading, long walks on pretty spring days.

Whatever brings you joy and helps lower your stress level.

2. Unintentional Time Spent Not Writing

These are the time sucks. When you’re free to write, and you go to sit down to write, but instead end up on social media. Or watching three hours of Tiny House videos, or downloading some sort of tetris game, where the lines of blocks just slide sideways, and playing til you hit level 19…

These are just random examples off the top of my head, I don’t know what sort of things you people are into.

I wanted to call it stolen time, but that time isn’t stolen, you’ve just given it away. And then it’s 11:30 pm and you’re just starting your weekly blog post, and you still owe a beta reader some feedback. (But, at least your latest chapters are with your mentor, so at least she’s not waiting on you.)

If you’re not careful, you can lose all your writing time, in the blink of an eye.

For those of us without agents, we create our own schedules and goals, and we’re the only ones holding ourselves accountable.

Is the extra downtime puttering worth it?


I usually say that, unlike exercise or people, if you don’t have time for your writing or it’s not bringing you joy, you can always put it away for a few months… or decades, and it’ll be there waiting when you’re ready.

I’m never quite sure if that analogy is comforting or creepy, but hey. It is what it is.

But, the last person I said that to is past retirement age and reminded me, not all of us have that much time. And they’re right. Not to mention, none of us is guaranteed tomorrow.

Only you can decide if goofing off and getting more downtime is worth giving up your writing time today. Maybe you’re having an off-day. Maybe you’re stuck in your writing and letting your brain try and process in the background without forcing it too hard, maybe you’re tired and brain-friend and don’t want your writing to look as coherent as a cold-medication-inspired ramble.

But maybe, you’re just not focused on the end goal and you need to buckle down.

Look at your dreams, your goals, and the people who matter to you. Decide what you’d most regret not-doing — that you KNOW you want to do — and start your list of priorities there.

What You Have To Give Up When Writing

For Catholics and a few other Christian denominations, the season of Lent is upon us. I wasn’t raised Catholic, but I can appreciate the sentiment. In years past, I’ve discussed what I’ve given up in my life for my writing.

This year? I’m going to do the same. But instead of talking about the external things, I’m going to talk about the internal things.

Giving Up My Fears

The fear of running out of ideas

When looking down the barrel at an empty page, I’ve felt the fear that I’m out of ideas. That I’ve finished telling all the stories that are inside of me. The ones I wrote were in me for so long, and anything new just doesn’t belong to me.

And then, I start to play around with some new world concept, or setting, or character. Then slowly, ever so slowly, a story starts to come to me from the shadows and I follow its path through the darkness and onto the page.

The fear of not finishing the story

Once I’ve committed to my new story, there’s always, there’s this lingering feeling that I don’t have it in me anymore. That I might have forgotten how to do this whole writing thing.

That I don’t know where I’m going with my story.

But, all first drafts stink. No matter how many times I have to rewrite it, that doesn’t stop my first, crappy ending from counting as a true ending.

The fear of not finding the right voice

I’ve got a story sitting in my drafts folder, that I haven’t touched since November of 2017. It has two different voices and neither of them are right for the story.

The story needs something else, and I’ve been scared to go back and rewrite it, the way it was meant to be told. I’ve been distracted with other stories — it’s true — but I know I’ve been avoiding it, too.

I started that story once before, though. And I liked that voice. I just need to rewrite the full draft in the voice of that false start.

The fear that my plotting is weak

I like my world building. It’s not like I’m a writer who plots out the world and creates a story to explore it, but I enjoy the ‘what if’ exercise, and following each choose to its repercussions.

I like my characters, especially my main characters. (My secondary and background characters aren’t quite two dimensional, but could use more umph.) And the choices of the main characters are what lead the plot.

But, I fear my logic is missing something obvious. Or that I’m following the most logical path for my characters, because it’s the path of least resistance.

My beta-readers, critique-partners, and mentor have challenged me, though. And I have reasons and logic behind most of their questions. For the rest?

I know how to fix them — by making things about my world more clear, so they don’t surprise the reader — not by changing them.

The fear that my story isn’t enough for agents or publishers. Or readers.

I’ve queried. A lot.

Not hundreds, but several dozen times.

I’m pretty happy with my query letter, but I haven’t gotten a lot of non-form rejections. Maybe my market is just too saturated and my story isn’t unique enough.

Maybe my potential readers think it sounds pleasant, but just doesn’t have that special something that makes them want to bring it home with them.

Then, I remind myself, that there are tons of agents out there, and one of them is bound to want my story. And if I can’t find them? I can indie publish and seek my own audience.

No matter the size of the audience, I’m going to have readers who love my story. I already do, just from my author-friends who’ve read my work. And they mean the world to me. (You know who you are <3)


What sort of negativity has infiltrated your life?

What are your fears that you’re ready to give up and face?