The past couple of years, I’ve noticed a trend–in myself. I’ve been wanting to stay home and not deal with going out. I’ve been not wanting to host big, complicated events, and it was usually okay if people came to me. Although, lately, I’ve been craving smaller and smaller groups. Of worse? Wanting to stay home, on my couch, alone.
But wait, I thought I was an extrovert. Was I was wrong? My entire identity has fallen into crisis!
- Maybe I was never an extrovert and was always an ambivert?
- That’s definitely what I consider myself now.
- Maybe my extroverted-ness was influenced by my nearest and dearest?
- Thank you, exes.
- Maybe it was my age?
- Do extroverts get less extroverted when they get older?
- Maybe, I’m more into my writing and don’t have the energy anymore?
- My new ‘hobby’ might be taking the energy extroverting used to.
- Maybe, I’m simply overscheduled
- If I just made time to rest, surely I’d be back to normal in a week or so and craving socialization.
And then, a couple weeks ago, it dawned on me, like a person remembering to turn their sound back on after they miss a couple text messages: Social. Media. Is. SOCIAL.
Let me say that again. Social Media Is Social.
Okay, I know, many of you are rolling your eyes at the obviousness of this statement.
But wait, the internet is supposed to be a ‘cheater’ way for introverts to reach out without depleting their energy, right?
Apparently, it depends on how you do it. And how much social media you take part in.
You’d think the blogger who literally wrote the (or at least ‘a’) series on social media (See parts 1, 2, 3, 4, 5a, 5, 6) might have noticed sooner, but no.
When one tries to continually network and keep up with all the recommended social media best practices, one can stretch themselves a little too thinly. Who knew?
Now, my loyal readers, I’m sure you’re starting to fear this is about to turn into a social media hiatus or blog-cation. Calm thyselves, I’m far more of an addict than that.
But, next time I turn down an invitation to go out, I’ll know who to blame.
Readers, talk to me!
Am I the only one? Or do you find yourself peopled out because of the internet?
WRITING TIPS & WRITERLY MUSINGS 
I am afraid I am a dyed in the wool introvert. So I almost always want to be alone at home. Sorry, I don’t think this is very helpful to you. 😉
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Do you think social media has accentuated it at all?
Do you feel as drained by social media as you do from in-person socialization?
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The short answer is no.
The caveat is that I do not live and die by SM the way some people do. I check in on my various platforms once or twice a day. I understand the importance of building an author platform, but at the end of the day the thing that drives SM is content. Writing is my joy and where I put my focus. The engagement still happens, I just can’t be a slave to the post pings.
Does that help?
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Thank you.
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I’ve always been an introvert, but I also think that social media disincentivizes seeing people in person. Not even due to social drain – I think I would be much more likely to reach out to individual friends and plan more events if I spent more time feeling bored or lonely. But social media alleviates that boredom or loneliness while requiring much less effort than coordinating schedules or planning out an event.
The disadvantage is that I’ve recently realized I’m spending most of my introvert social energy interacting with the people who use social media the most, rather than on the friends (and people I wish were friends!) whom I most like or respect.
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If you use Facebook a lot, adding people that you are closest to to your list of favorites will make sure that they always show up on your feed. I know it doesn’t solve the problem, but it’s a hacks that can help.
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I’ve always thought of myself as “mostly” extroverted, but over the past five years or so, I’ve realized I’m maybe only 70% extrovert. I really like my alone time, even though I still enjoy myself when I’m out with friends. I just don’t need that “out of the house” time like I used to. You make a great point about social media, though. I think that may be the cause of my supposed introvertishness. I can interact on many fronts, at my convenience, but there really is a lot to keep up with, so I can feel like I’ve had my fill of people without ever talking to anyone face to face.
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I used to be the introvertyest introvert ever to walk the earth, and I have become more of an extrovert due to social media. Social media has “greased the wheels” for me. I find if I have an online relationship with someone first, it’s much easier for me to interact with them in person later. I met my husband online, and we spent over a year getting to know each other before we met in person. I didn’t even know what he looked like for that year, because we didn’t meet on a dating site and weren’t initially planning to date. When we finally did decide to meet in person, then we sent pictures so we would recognize each other at the airport!
I still see myself as an introvert and I test that way whenever I take the Myers-Briggs test. But surprisingly other people don’t see me that way that much anymore. I think most of us are actually ambiverts with the introverted or extroverted side coming out in different situations. I still don’t like crowds or big parties and that will probably never change. The main reason for that, for me, is noise. While there’s nothing testably wrong with my hearing, I think my auditory processing is somehow non-standard and SLOW. I have a really hard time picking out a conversation from background noise, and loud noise makes me distracted and anxious. Social media is quiet. You can be among a large group of people, and you can “hear” them all speaking at once. You can also take your time processing what they are saying and formulating responses.
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Ha, as an introvert with social anxiety, I can confirm that social media is, indeed, social. And it’s exhausting. I get so awkward and second-guess everything I say even online, and by the end of the day, sometimes I put alerts off until the next day because I just don’t have the energy for it. xD Evenings are quiet time for me, and sometimes I take that time away from social media to just recharge my batteries.
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Rest up and know we’ll be here when you’re ready.
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Growing up, I was kept away from people which made me more introverted. I do not spend hours on social media. I enjoy getting out and seeing places making me more extroverted.
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